In a few minutes I’ve got some ladyfriends coming over to watch Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken– a movie I loved intensely for a short period of time. In 2nd or 3rd grade, when we had to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, I drew myself riding a horse off a high platform into a deep pool. Everyone laughed! I haven’t seen the movie since, and I’m so excited to revisit it.
So, quickly…. I had my third and last HCG blood test yesterday. At 20 days after my 3-day-embryo transfer (or 20dp3dt in IVFForumSpeak) my number was a whopping 11,521. Of course, I’ve been obsessively checking IVF and Surrogate forums to compare my numbers with other twin and singleton pregnancies. 11,521 is high. Really high. Even for a twin pregnancy.
One of the Gestational Carriers on a forum I use is 26 weeks along with twins, and she’s just been placed on hospital bedrest. She could be waiting it out in the hospital for a LONG time- the babies aren’t due until June. Reading about her experience and seeing that number yesterday… it really started to hit home that that could be me in a few months. I’ve started to get a little panicky. Carrying twins would change my experience a LOT. In the last week I’ve gone from being 100% excited about the idea to being about 30% excited.
This next Friday, the 30th, I’ll have an ultrasound to confirm that there is at least one heart beating in there. If it’s a singleton I’m going to be pretty relieved and surprised. I’m afraid Urs and Ingmar will be disappointed, though; they haven’t been pushy or anything but I know they want twins most of all. When we were together I asked them whether they were hoping for a boy or a girl and they said, in unison, “both.” Oh boy. This is going to be a long week. Once I know where I stand I think I’ll be able to deal with whatever the news is. I just can’t handle this waiting!