Another quick beta post

In a few minutes I’ve got some ladyfriends coming over to watch Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken– a movie I loved intensely for a short period of time.  In 2nd or 3rd grade, when we had to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, I drew myself riding a horse off a high platform into a deep pool.  Everyone laughed!  I haven’t seen the movie since, and I’m so excited to revisit it.

So, quickly…. I had my third and last HCG blood test yesterday.  At 20 days after my 3-day-embryo transfer (or 20dp3dt in IVFForumSpeak) my number was a whopping 11,521.  Of course, I’ve been obsessively checking IVF and Surrogate forums to compare my numbers with other twin and singleton pregnancies.  11,521 is high.  Really high.  Even for a twin pregnancy.

One of the Gestational Carriers on a forum I use is 26 weeks along with twins, and she’s just been placed on hospital bedrest.  She could be waiting it out in the hospital for a LONG time- the babies aren’t due until June.  Reading about her experience and seeing that number yesterday… it really started to hit home that that could be me in a few months.  I’ve started to get a little panicky.  Carrying twins would change my experience a LOT.  In the last week I’ve gone from being 100% excited about the idea to being about 30% excited.

This next Friday, the 30th, I’ll have an ultrasound to confirm that there is at least one heart beating in there.  If it’s a singleton I’m going to be pretty relieved and surprised.  I’m afraid Urs and Ingmar will be disappointed, though; they haven’t been pushy or anything but I know they want twins most of all.  When we were together I asked them whether they were hoping for a boy or a girl and they said, in unison, “both.”  Oh boy.  This is going to be a long week.  Once I know where I stand I think I’ll be able to deal with whatever the news is.  I just can’t handle this waiting!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: